Day Who Knows?

Stress and anxiety still bring up a craving. Always for a Super Jos Louis (like a double Wagon Wheel) or an ice cream sandwich.

The visit by the Buddhist monk, the original end date for my no-sugar commitment, is cancelled. Over the past several days I've basically let go of that event as the end date. But where does that leave me? On two different days I told myself to go ahead and buy crap. While I feel confident that I could eat just one item, I still feel very nervous that, the following day or shortly thereafter, I would return to regular binging.

I don't want to go back to ingesting all that crap. I'm calmer and happier and more sane without it. Not to mention smaller. (Interesting that Days 65-70ish, my body seemed to finally believe this is true and effortlessly adjusted down.)

Anyway, lately when I think about crap food, I look at or think about my kid. I think about what better a parent he has while I'm not eating crap. And he deserves that. So no garbage for me still. One day I'll eat something, but I need a plan in place first. (I'm actually thinking about taking some classes in positive mental reinforcement to prevent a return to old ways.)